Forgive -- but forget?

As the Day of Atonement approaches, here are some random (but kind of edited) thoughts. WARNING: There are lots of questions, but the answers are left to each of us…which may be the very point. 

We consider this the holiest day of the year? Why? 

We are told – commanded really – to afflict our souls. What does that mean…beyond the physical deprivations? And is that holy?

What exactly is Atonement (our translation of the word Kippurim). A dictionary definition: “the making of reparation for a sin or a mistake” – reparation…isn’t that repayment? Is that even possible? The thesaurus lists “compensation” as a synonym and then it moves on to “amends, penitence, penance, punishment, expiation, apology, reparation, recompense”….again a lot of focus on payment/repayment, but other seemingly inconsistent ideas are also included.

While it is called the Day of Atonement, and we spend much of this time recounting and then “atoning” for sins, is that the goal, or is it a means to an end?

Is it ultimately about forgiveness? God forgiving us? People forgiving each other? Each of us forgiving ourselves? And for there to be forgiveness, does there first have to be atonement?

At services last Shabbat, Rabbi Tucker shared an interesting insight about forgiveness. In our lexicon we have the commonly cited phrase, “forgive and forget.” The Rabbi pointed out that while it is glib (and alliterative so it is easy to remember), it is really quite shallow and naïve. In fact, isn’t it much more meaningful to remember, so the forgiveness can be honest and complete. He then went on to remind that Rosh Hashanah is called Yom Hazikaron (day of remembrance) which comes prior to Yom Kippur. Without remembrance, can there really be atonement and/or forgiveness?

What exactly is forgiveness? Is it about the other? Or about ourselves (sometimes we can see ourselves as “the other,” especially if/when we are acting in ways we are not proud of)? What do we seek? Closure? Release? A new direction?

Wishing all of us a meaningful day of fast and contemplation and a fresh start for a year filled with joy, health and peace.