To a "Wonderful" Year

Our New Year is a prescribed time for introspection and self-reflection. For many of us, it is a good reminder – then again there are many people who think I spend too much time doing that, so at the risk of reinforcing their point of view, I share some thoughts as we approach Rosh Hashanah.

During these Holy Days, hours are spent in synagogue, ostensibly in prayer, and there are (at least) a couple of fundamental questions many people contemplate: 

• To whom (or what) are we praying?  
• For what are we praying?

That first question can lead in many directions. For some of us, the answer seems simple, i.e., we pray to God, but even how that is defined is anything but simple. For others it can be much more confusing. I’m not advocating a position – this is about contemplation, not answers – but I do think that everyone could agree there are things that we can neither control nor explain. And even if we think it is all completely random, maybe call it “nature”, we can pray, or perhaps hope (Rabbi Jonathan Sacks writes beautifully about the difference between hope and optimism…hope is much more active in his view) that we are positively impacted by those forces, or that we are not negatively impacted by them.

What about the second question? A couple of years ago, I thought about this a lot when a dear friend’s Mom was in the last stages of a battle with the disease that ultimately took her life. As I approached my friend before the Holidays, I was confused about what to say. Happy New Year? It was surely not starting off that way. I finally decided that I would confess my confusion and simply share my feeling that ultimately the best any of us can pray – or hope – for is peace. How we, or the people we love, find peace may differ, but we can all strive for it.

Another thought: I find myself increasingly feeling the need for balance, and decreasingly believing in absolutes or extremes. Somehow the world seems much more nuanced and a lot less black and white. I could go on at length about where and how the importance of maintaining balance applies, but it varies for each of us. So perhaps we pray for the right balance in the things that are important to us…which forces us to first consider what is most important to us.

A parting thought that just occurred to me as I was thinking about this topic: I have been blessed with an amazing role model, a woman who even well in to her 80’s keeps on trying and experiencing new things. My Mom, who is a survivor in every sense of that word, has always remained curious and interested in expanding her horizons and I cannot imagine living my life any other way. In fact, without ever really consciously considering this, I believe it has influenced my own outlook as a parent. So, perhaps we pray to maintain our sense of curiosity and our desire to learn and experience new things.

This in turn led to me to a “chiddush” – a term I learned as a child to describe a new Rabbinic discovery, often concerning a subject that already had been studied and analyzed extensively. 

The word wonder has a variety of uses and definitions.  As a verb, it means to speculate, to question, to ponder...in other words, to be curious. However, as a noun it is defined as a miracle (there’s a word that could use some explanation!), a marvel, a phenomenon. When something is a wonder we view it with awe, with amazement, with admiration. And finally when used as an adjective, i.e., wonderful, it means delightful or magnificent. The act of being curious leads to such great things!

I close with my special wish for each of us to have a wonderful New Year, a year full of wonder.

Before the Festival of Freedom

Passover celebrates freedom. But it also may be the glue that has bound the Jewish people together over millennia, through the best and the worst of times.

It is often reported that some type of Seder is the most widely observed Jewish ritual.  A central commandment – perhaps the central commandment – is to tell, and retell, the story of our emergence from slavery. We involve everybody, including our youngest children, even those who "don't know how to ask." We are also commanded to tell the story as though each of us personally experienced being freed from slavery in Egypt.

Each year, I try to find new and hopefully interesting insights and ideas for discussion. Several years ago we began using a narrative on the second night that tells the story of modern Israel. That helps to keep things fresh and it also reminds us of our more recent history. (I don't "hold" from the 2 day observance of Holidays outside the land of Israel, but that is a topic for another blog – and using a different narrative seemed like a reasonable compromise since I couldn't sell the idea of eliminating the second Seder. I also think it is important that we remember the origins of the modern Jewish State.)This year I plan on using (at least) 2 readings which I thought others might find meaningful, so I share them here.

The first, from Rabbi Jonathan Sacks - I truly admire his writings - speaks to the difference between history and memory. I have read it verbatim before beginning the Seder for the past few years and I anticipate it will be a permanent addition to our Seders.

"There is a profound difference between history and memory. History is his story – an event that happened sometime else to someone else. Memory is my story – something that happened to me and is part of who I am. History is information. Memory, by contrast, is part of identity. I can study the history of other peoples, cultures and civilizations. They deepen my knowledge and broaden my horizons. But they do not make a claim on me. They are the past as past. Memory is the past as present, as it lives on in me. Without memory there can be no identity."

The second is from Menachem Begin as reported by Yehuda Avner in his book The Prime Ministers. I believe Menachem Begin is one of the greatest Jewish heroes. I know he was polarizing, and I know he was imperfect - who isn't?  But I also believe that, so far at least, he is the Israeli leader who has best understood and exemplified the potentially conflicting duality of the continuum of Judaism as religion and nationality. Additionally, he seemed innately sensitive to the notion of history versus memory.  I plan to read this on the second night, when we tell the story of modern Israel, just before or after the paragraph when we lift our wine glasses and recall that in every generation there have been those who have tried to eliminate us.

Avner reports: At a gathering, in May 1981, of approximately thirty young budding Jewish American activists affiliated with UJA, following is a response by Israel’s Prime Minister Menachem Begin to this question from Irving Bernstein the Executive Vice President of UJA, “Would you share with us what you think is the relevant message of the Holocaust for the people here, who are the coming leaders of the American Jewish community?”

Begin replied, “I pray with all my heart that you shall forever enjoy lives of tranquility and security. However, you must always remember that we Jews have a certain collective national experience that goes back many centuries. And in light of that experience, I believe the lessons of the Holocaust are these: First, if an enemy of our people says he seeks to destroy us, believe him. Don’t doubt him for a moment. Don’t make light of it. Do all in your power to deny him the means of carrying out his satanic intent. Second, when a Jew anywhere is threatened, or under attack, do all in your power to come to his aid. Never pause to wonder what the world will think or say. The world will never pity slaughtered Jews. The world may not necessarily like the fighting Jew, but the world will have to take account of him. Third, a Jew must learn to defend himself. He must forever be prepared for whenever threat looms. Fourth, Jewish dignity and honor must be protected in all circumstances. The seeds of Jewish destruction lie in passively enabling the enemy to humiliate us. Only when the enemy succeeds in turning the spirit of the Jew into dust and ashes in life, can he turn the Jew into dust and ashes in death. During the Holocaust it was after the enemy had humiliated the Jews, trampled them underfoot, divided them, deceived them, afflicted them, drove brother against brother, only then could he lead them, almost without resistance to the gates of Auschwitz.  Therefore, at all times and whatever the cost, safeguard the dignity and honor of the Jewish people. Fifth, stand united in the face of the enemy. We Jews love life for life is holy. But there are things in life more precious than life itself. There are times when one must risk life for the sake of rescuing the lives of others. And, when the few risk their own lives for the sake of the many, then they, too, stand the chance of saving themselves.  Sixth, there is a pattern to Jewish history. In our long annals as a nation, we rise, we fall, we return, we are exiled, we are enslaved, we revel, we liberate ourselves, we are oppressed once more, we rebuild, and again we suffer destruction, climaxing in our own lifetime in the calamity of calamities, the Holocaust, followed by the rebirth of the Jewish State. So yes, we have come full circle, and with God’s help, with the rebirth of sovereign Israel we have finally broken the historic cycle: no more destruction and no more defeats, and no more oppression – only Jewish liberty, with dignity and honor. These, I believe, are the underlying lessons to be learned from the unspeakable tragedy of the Holocaust”
 
Wishing everyone a Chag Kasher v'Sameach. Enjoy your family and and your friends, and celebrate!

Forgive -- but forget?

As the Day of Atonement approaches, here are some random (but kind of edited) thoughts. WARNING: There are lots of questions, but the answers are left to each of us…which may be the very point. 

We consider this the holiest day of the year? Why? 

We are told – commanded really – to afflict our souls. What does that mean…beyond the physical deprivations? And is that holy?

What exactly is Atonement (our translation of the word Kippurim). A dictionary definition: “the making of reparation for a sin or a mistake” – reparation…isn’t that repayment? Is that even possible? The thesaurus lists “compensation” as a synonym and then it moves on to “amends, penitence, penance, punishment, expiation, apology, reparation, recompense”….again a lot of focus on payment/repayment, but other seemingly inconsistent ideas are also included.

While it is called the Day of Atonement, and we spend much of this time recounting and then “atoning” for sins, is that the goal, or is it a means to an end?

Is it ultimately about forgiveness? God forgiving us? People forgiving each other? Each of us forgiving ourselves? And for there to be forgiveness, does there first have to be atonement?

At services last Shabbat, Rabbi Tucker shared an interesting insight about forgiveness. In our lexicon we have the commonly cited phrase, “forgive and forget.” The Rabbi pointed out that while it is glib (and alliterative so it is easy to remember), it is really quite shallow and naïve. In fact, isn’t it much more meaningful to remember, so the forgiveness can be honest and complete. He then went on to remind that Rosh Hashanah is called Yom Hazikaron (day of remembrance) which comes prior to Yom Kippur. Without remembrance, can there really be atonement and/or forgiveness?

What exactly is forgiveness? Is it about the other? Or about ourselves (sometimes we can see ourselves as “the other,” especially if/when we are acting in ways we are not proud of)? What do we seek? Closure? Release? A new direction?

Wishing all of us a meaningful day of fast and contemplation and a fresh start for a year filled with joy, health and peace.

For the New Year

It seems to me that many (most?) of us, not just Jews – especially in the Northern Hemisphere – think of this time of year as the New Year….even without going to Synagogue and/or hearing the sound of the shofar. Perhaps this dates back to school when each year at this time we started a new grade, so we were all a year “older”? 

The New Year which the Jewish people usher in on Wednesday evening – in fact, even in the Jewish liturgy the concept is universal... it is called “ the birth of the world” – is a time of self-examination and reflection, so here are some random thoughts on that topic.

Like most things, self-reflection is best in moderation:  Too much of it and you can become a self-centered boor; Not enough and you might be shallow and insensitive. (Reminder: I am a self-defined centrist, always seeking the middle.) But with all of life’s distractions, it seems like a good idea to have some time “legislated” for the sole purpose of reflecting on our lives and what we would like to improve.

I have to admit I’m struggling a bit these days with whether or how a regimented, structured (and in many cases long) prayer service can be an effective gateway to meaningful self-reflection and/or self-improvement. Again, I feel a need for balance. With no structure, it can be too free-form and we can easily get distracted. Too much structure and we can lose sight of what we’re really there for, with too much emphasis on the form rather than the substance. Too short and we might not give ourselves a chance – too long and we risk boredom or burn-out.

Of course, mine is not a unique struggle. In fact, many “pious” people are also confused. We all have to find our balance, but in order to do that we have to be active, willing and open participants. Find a passage or a melody that resonates and meditate on it. Read/listen to those same lines of Scripture again and perhaps you will hear/feel something new. Who among us has not had that happen after listening to a favorite piece of music, or watching a favorite movie again? I just attended a talk with Rav Steinsaltz about the binding of Isaac – which we read every year on Rosh Hashana – wherein he implored and exhorted us to read it freshly each year, because while the words may be the same, we are not!

So, let us try not to feel trapped by the structure, whatever structure we choose – rather look at it as a runway, our runway for the flight that is most meaningful to each of us at that moment.

And may we all have a New Year of happiness, health, prosperity and peace.

Hypocrisy? Inconsistency? Or simply nuanced thinking.

This was going to be a piece about Israel, but somehow my thought process went awry (I can hear the snickering about my “attention span”) and I felt this was something worth considering independently, and hopefully worth sharing.

Recently, I found myself forwarding two positions/points of view about Israel which made sense to me. They came from sources that many people, including the sources themselves, would think were from the right and from the left. Both of these sources, Dennis Prager (about the peace process and double standards that seem to have obscured relevant facts) and Uri Avneri (about the need for separation of religion and state), have many points of view with which I disagree, in some cases very strongly, but does that mean that I cannot find wisdom, or a source of common ground in anything they say, or write, or believe?

Ideology seems to be taking over – and along with it, I believe there is an accompanying notion of knee-jerk, lock-step support, i.e., I am a conservative or liberal, and therefore I support conservative or liberal people and positions no matter what. An extreme example was the madness surrounding Bristol Palin on Dancing with the Stars. Apparently, conservatives felt compelled to support Bristol because they support her Mom???!!! I’m sure there are equally crazy examples on the left.

Many of you have heard me remark when asked about my “inconsistent” – some might say hypocritical – religious observance, “Don’t screw (I often use a stronger word) with my hypocrisy.” I say that somewhat jokingly, but I am not preaching to anyone about what they should do, nor have I really come to a complete, consistent understanding of what I should do, and I’m comfortable with that.  I can’t put a label on my observance nor do I expect, or even want, anyone else to label it. I just do what I do because it is what I believe…and over time that has changed – and I fully expect it to continue to change because I keep trying to learn, and I keep thinking, and life keeps happening.

I find myself disliking labels more and more. Why do we have to pigeonhole things, or ideas, or people? I understand labels can potentially be useful as a form of “shorthand,” but it seems to me that they can also be dangerous, and a bit of a lazy substitute for deeper thought.

I surely do not want to be a hypocrite, but I’m not really certain whether or when I’m a hypocrite, or I’m behaving inconsistently, or I’m just living my life. Recently I had a discussion with my Rabbi that wound up on this very topic, and we agreed that we could talk for hours about the distinction between inconsistency and hypocrisy, and perhaps never come to agreement.

It seems to me that inconsistency could be defined as what we do, while hypocrisy is what others do….after all I’d never want to be a hypocrite! (I’m guessing there are some among us who believe they live their lives in a completely consistent way, and I’m at least as sure that any of us could find what we believe to be inconsistency in their points of view or behavior.)

Of course all of us have lines we don’t cross – although those lines can and often do move. And we have issues that ultimately take priority when making choices, including voting choices. But seeing validity in other candidates' points of view, or even agreeing with some of their positions does not make us inconsistent or hypocrites. What it does is make us dynamic, thinking human beings – and if you are going to put a label on me, that is one I will wear proudly.

I leave it to each of us to determine whether or when we are being hypocrites, but hopefully none of us will feel compelled to blindly/obediently follow any ideology simply because we self identify in a specific way. Some might call that hypocrisy – I call it nuanced (or dare I say intelligent!) thinking…perhaps the highest form of human behavior.

Thoughts on Israel will follow – as soon as I can figure out how to get all of my inconsistent (some may think hypocritical) points of view to make sense to me, so I can share them.

Jewish Music?

As I’ve noted, I like all kinds of music – pop, rock, r & b, jazz, show tunes, big band, some classical, plus all types of “fusions” of  these genres…and even an occasional country song (love some of those lyrics!)

Lately, it sort of randomly occurred to me that music I like is “Jewish.”  NOTE: I’m dropping the quotes for the rest of this post, but you can put them there in your head if you need them.

So what does that mean? Music written by Jews? Performed by Jews? About Jewish subjects? Hebrew lyrics? Yiddish Lyrics? Israeli? Ladino? I’m guessing there are many other possible definitions and invite your feedback if you have some. Read on for my take.

Some are easy – like Benny Goodman. Clearly he was influenced by klezmer music (Ziggy Elman’s trumpet solo on And the Angels Sing is as klezmer as it gets!) Benny was Jewish, but Dixieland music is pretty much all klezmer music, and Jews were not much of a factor in Dixie. 

Of course Benny played the clarinet which is a Jewish instrument….so is violin (Yeedl mit dem feedl – my brother has great lyrics for that song, but in Yiddish; that whole thing might end up in another post.)

George Gershwin? A Jew, and I love that he actually co-opted the melody for blessing the Torah and used it in Porgy and Bess for It Ain’t Necessarily So which is sung by black characters about the Bible.

On the other hand, there are Beatles songs that are Jewish…at least they are to me, e.g., And I Love Her, Girl, and If I Needed Someone – note each song is written and sung by different people, none Jewish as far as I know.

There are Allman Brothers songs that are Jewish, for example, Midnight Rider and In Memory of Elizabeth Reed.

Neil Young? Plenty of Jewish songs.

Santana? He actually played a Yiddish standard at Bill Graham’s funeral.

Even the Rolling Stones (I’m not really a fan) have Paint it Black which is a Jewish song by my reckoning. Squeeze and Talking Heads and Joe Jackson and even Coldplay (I do listen to some more current stuff after all) have Jewish songs too.

The above are just examples. Just about every artist I like has done songs that are Jewish. Likewise just about every one hit wonder song I like is Jewish.

Pretty much all folk music is Jewish – and yes I know a lot of those writers and performers were/are Jewish, including Mr. Zimmerman. Woody Guthrie was not Jewish, but his wife was, so Arlo is Jewish. Latin music is all basically Jewish, and so is a lot of Reggae, and definitely a lot of Motown and Stax. 

Bruce Springsteen is not Jewish and neither is his music – and as many of you know, most of his music has not really held up for me over time. Well, maybe Spirit in the Night is Jewish – but that’s about my hometown! (I’m quite sure you’ll be reading more about Bruuuuce in future posts.)

Dizzy Gillespie was not Jewish, but a lot of his music is…and I’m not just talking about his version of Eretz Zavat Chalav, a Hebrew folk song which he learned on a trip to Israel. He also does an amazing version of a Russian folk song Dark Eyes (aka Ochi Chornya) – many people think it is Jewish – on a record he did with Stan Getz…who was Jewish.

In fact, I have a very vivid memory of driving out of Jerusalem very late one night in a Mini Subaru (a 3 cylinder car with an engine so small that it actually sat under the driver’s seat – I only found that out when it broke down and we opened the hood and the trunk and found there was no engine in either place!) and hearing a set of music on Israeli radio that included Tangled Up in Blue and Erev B’Tunizia as the DJ called it (if you haven’t figured it out, the song was A Night in Tunisia.) Dylan and Dizzy in the middle of the night on the highway which snakes up/down the hills to/from Jerusalem…how amazing is that!

But I digress; back to my liking Jewish music.

Not long ago, I was explaining this discovery to my business partner and pal Harry (another important Harry in my life) who is extremely – much more than I am – knowledgeable about music. As I was blathering on, I eventually said something about how all of those San Francisco-based bands from the late 60’s played Jewish music, e.g., Grateful Dead, Quicksilver Messenger Service, and of course – perhaps especially – Jefferson Airplane.

Around that time, the Coen Brothers’ movie A Serious Man had been released (spoiler coming for those of you who haven’t seen it – which is a shame….see it!) At some point later, Harry very calmly asked if I had seen it and I replied not yet. He suggested that I would like it and that I should call him right after so we can discuss it. Imagine my reaction at the end of that movie. I will summarize the scene: The Rabbi who was the Hebrew School teacher had confiscated the kid’s transistor radio, and he clearly had been listening to it. His great insight in the climactic scene of the entire film was, “Ven da trute is found to be lies, you know da joy vitin you dies.” Obviously there are others who think Jefferson Airplane is Jewish music too! Yes, I know there are at least some Jews in the band, but there were no Jews in many of those other bands who were based in San Fran around that time.

Anyway when that movie ended that day, there was one crazy Jew in the crowd laughing hysterically and dialing Harry as soon as the credits started to roll.

So what does it all mean?

I think that my definition of Jewish music is music with a “krechts.” Great – now I have to try and translate that! A krechts is kind of a combination of a sigh and a moan, but it’s not necessarily sad. In fact, much of what I’d call Jewish music is very happy (there are songs actually called freilachs – freilach means happy.)

In musical terms – not that I’m so conversant – I believe it’s “minor key.”  To me, it seems like there is a little something lacking or unfinished about it… looking forward, hopeful really, but also a bit wistful – very much in keeping with Jewish values, e.g.:  

·         Tikkun Olam – fixing, or perfecting, the world…something we strive for, but it’s never quite done

·         Waiting for Moshiach (the Messiah) who has never come…yet!

·         Rabbi Tarfon teaching that while we may not ever complete the task, we are not at liberty to ignore it…we are obligated to keep trying

Yes I like other kinds of music (including many songs in major keys!), but something about that “Jewish” music really touches me.

Double Standards?

I don’t like double standards or – as someone who was very uncomfortable when confronted with his own double standard once called them – different standards…and if you can figure out the difference, please enlighten me.

I’m in favor of a Palestinian State, assuming that it will be a state where Jews and everyone else can also reside, just like Arabs, Christians and Muslims can reside in Israel.

I am not in favor of a Palestinian state that will be Judenrein, no more than I am in favor of an Israel that is free of non-Jews, or any other ethnically cleansed place

I am not in favor of a state that is sworn to Israel’s destruction.

I love that there is an organization of Rabbis for Gaza. I’d really love it if there was an organization of Imams for Sderot. And I’d be ecstatic if there was a Palestinian or other Arab chapter of Peace Now (Shalom Achshav in Hebrew) with an Arabic name.

I don’t buy the argument about the importance of contiguity – have you ever heard of Alaska? If there are peaceful relations, people can cross each others’ borders safely and easily… or at least as easily and safely as we can cross through Canada on our way to/from Alaska.

Boycotts of Israel? When Elvis Costello doesn’t play the U.S. because of how Native Americans are treated, I will begin to take him seriously. For now, I’m boycotting him – although I have not yet deleted the Squeeze songs he was involved with (speaking of which, I truly believe that there are many closet Squeeze fans.) And when Alice Walker laments the treatment of women, much less gay women, in Saudi Arabia – or GAZA! – as passionately as she speaks out about Palestinians, I will pay more attention.

I don’t believe in unbalanced pre-conditions in negotiations. If you are going to impose a pre-condition on one side, there should be a pre-condition on both sides. Otherwise you are creating an imbalance and who wants to enter a negotiation under those circumstances?

I – along with anyone who stops to think about it – know that there is a proven pathway to peace between Israel and its neighbors, and it has nothing to do with settlements or freezes. In fact all it takes is for the other side to recognize Israel as a Jewish State (can we still be talking about this 60+ years later? Talk about a double standard!) and to renounce violence.  Egypt did it – settlements were dismantled, very painfully – and Jordan did it, and there’s peace with both. It has been tried twice and it has worked both times, so why not focus on an approach that has a perfect record of success, as the first, best path forward.

On the other hand, complete Israeli withdrawal from all of Gaza, and abandoning every settlement there led to nothing but ongoing rocket fire in to Israeli territory that virtually nobody (save those sworn to Israel’s destruction) believes is disputed. The Gaza withdrawal was so thorough that even Jewish bones were removed from the cemeteries! So it is quite certain that simply making any place entirely “sanitized” of Jews does not lead to peace.

I do not condone every action ever taken by Israel. If mistakes were made in Gaza they should be investigated and dealt with appropriately. In fact, there are investigations ongoing and actions have, and are, being taken. Likewise, Hamas or the PA or whoever is the ruling force in Gaza should find people firing rockets in to Israel and take proper action. I have not heard that is happening in any way by anyone.

No rational person can dispute that if there were no rockets from Gaza, there would have never been any incursion to Gaza!  In fact it literally took years of rocket fire before Israel took action. Where was the international outrage? Or screams for investigations? Or demands that perpetrators be found and tried? Where was the UN?

I yearn for a just peace, a peace where Israel lives with its neighbors like other countries do – why would, or should, Israel “settle” for anything less?

Double standards are essentially an insidious, if subtle, form of prejudice, and they don’t work.